Reality!!!

March 1,2010

My surgery day was over and I had returned home. I was in so much pain and I was so angry because, I couldn't take a bath. I had to take a hoe bath for like 3 weeks the doctors said. I feel like reality has set in. I couldn't believe that my breast were gone. I remember when I was little girl how bad I wanted breast. I would love to squeeze my cousin Shari breast because, they were so big and I wanted boobs like her. LOL!!! I would stuff my bra and pray to God every night for breast. I though I has the most perfect breast and now they are gone. It then hit me that I will never be able to breast feed again and this was the hardest thing I every had to go through. I feel like my baby hates me. Breast feeding is what bonded us and now I can't feed him. I can't hold him because of these drains and surgery wombs. Ahh!!!! I am so mad. Why me Lord. This isn't fair. I just don't understand. I am too young for this. No one understands how I feel. I feel so alone right now. I have no breast!!!!